It is important to not only to have current goals during the adoption process, but to also have short-term and long-term goals that you plan to pursue after the baby is born. Planning ahead is going to help you become confident that you are making the right decision. You may be choosing adoption because it will give the child better opportunities in life. But you must also have realistic expectations and goals after the baby is born.
What goals are you planning to achieve after the baby is born? Since you will be free from parenting responsibilities after placement, what have you always wanted to do in life and now have the opportunity to pursue it full force? You are selflessly choosing life for your baby because you love your baby. Even thinking about placing this amazing life into the arms of a person or couple, who have been waiting for this precious gift, takes courage. Your decision will be a new beginning for you and the child. Here are a few questions to help guide you in planning your future expectations and goals for when after the baby is born:
- Do I want a supportive family member, friend, or doula during my labor and delivery?
- Do I plan to have the baby stay with me in my room, or will I have someone else care for the baby right after my delivery?
- Where am I going right after my hospital stay?
- What exactly am I expecting right after I sign relinquishment papers?
- Have I made counseling arrangements after placement? With who, and for how long?
- How long will I need counseling after placement, or will I need any personal counseling?
- How do I expect to feel right after I place?
- Will my relatives know about my decision? Why or why not?
- Will I have financial, emotional, and physical support right after placement?
- What do I want to change about my life? What can I change about my life after placement?
- Do I want to stay in a relationship with, or marry, the father of the child? Why or why not?
- Do I want to go back to school (high school, college)? If so, when and where?
- Do I want to go back to work? If so, where, and is this the career I want to pursue?
- Will I go back to the residence I resided at while I was pregnant, or will I be living at a different location?
- How am I going to avoid getting pregnant in the future if I want to avoid having other children at the moment?
- If I plan on having children in the future, will I tell them about my past decision? Will they understand my decision for adoption? Do I expect them to be understanding?
- Where do I see myself in five years? Ten years? Twenty years?